~@~Coming Out

   It was late when they returned, still by Coruscant standards.  Luke absently guided himself through routine motions, slowly directing the small ship through the towering city.  The moving mosaic of city light, the familiarity in it, offered precious little relief for the drained bodies, minds, and emotions of the two men making their way home tonight. There was a stillness in the air surrounding them, even as the steady streams of ships and buildings buzzed persistently by... and the memories of all that they had been witness to remained a constant at the back of their minds and deep in their hearts.

   Luke slowly sat back in the pilot's seat, listening to the sound of the engines powering down as the ship settled onto the landing pad. It was almost unreal, being so close to home after such a long time away.  He returned to the bunk room to throw his travel bag over his shoulder, and made his way down the ramp onto the Coruscant landing platforms, Atamvr at his side.

   "You should come with me to med and get those ribs looked at," his friend admonished.

   Luke suppressed a sigh; he had more or less grown accustomed to the dull pain that accompanied most of his movements. While he deeply appreciated the simple luxuries that a fresh change of clothes and a refresher unit had provided for the journey home, neither he nor Atamvr had objected when spaceport officials had confiscated their ship's medical supplies before letting them leave Orem.  They had both known that those supplies were needed to combat life threatening injuries on the planet. 

   "I will," Luke assured his friend, "but not tonight."  Luke had already extracted an assurance from Atamvr that he would visit Coruscant's medical facilities for treatment. Atamvr's headaches had never fully subsided, despite the healing meditations they had tried on the planet and during the journey home.  "You get yourself seen to, and we'll meet back at my suite tomorrow morning before the Council comes to session."

   "Fine. I'll see you tomorrow," Atamvr acknowledged. There would be no winning that argument tonight, but at least he could tell Lara he had tried. "Give Lara and the twins my love."

   "I will," Luke answered with a smile.  The Jedi and his apprentice parted ways, and Luke directed his footsteps toward home with the same sense of disconnected emotion that had worn on him while bringing the ship in.  He felt so deeply tired.  Worn down into his very soul by the emotional strain that came of trying to reason through everything that had happened on Orem... worn down by a numb feeling of silent dread that he couldn't shake for the unknown conclusions still to come. 

   He had contacted the Inner Council once he and Atamvr had gotten the ship into hyperspace, and the Council had requested his report regarding Orem as soon as possible upon their return. Luke had told them that he had much to discuss with them, but they knew nothing yet of Darlik. Luke took one more deep breath, trying to lay those troubling thoughts and emotions to rest as he walked the halls of the Imperial Palace.

   Quietly, Luke keyed for entry and slipped inside, making his way through the darkened halls of his family's suite.  Finally, this familiarity pushed those troublesome weights and worries into the more distant background of his emotions.  In their wake he could remember the feel of a thousand moments when he had longed for this, when he had wanted more than anything to feel the peace and simple comfort of home.  He felt his spirit lighten and his heart filled with fresh hope at the thought of seeing his family, holding his children and his wife again.

   Luke pressed his finger to the pad beside the door and he stood motionless for a long moment.  Lara was asleep.  His breath caught in his throat and Luke felt his heart swell as he stood in the doorway watching the peaceful rise and fall of the covers about her, perfect in time with her breathing... the deep and even breaths of a deep and peaceful sleep. He wanted to soak in that wondrous sight. 

   The soft beauty in her elegant features was made only more exquisite by the gentle motion of her breathing. Light from the city outside their window wove through the blinds in elaborate, cascading patterns, bringing out the warm tones in her skin and playing against the soft strands of hair that fell delicately around her face.  She was so beautiful.

   Luke gradually forced frozen muscles back to work, setting his travel bag aside and gingerly pealing off his robes as he stepped into their bedroom.  The motion was met by the stubborn protest of sore muscles and unhealed injuries, but Luke deliberately ignored their semi-constant revolt. He was home now. He felt home now.  He sat down on the edge of the bed, reminding himself to breathe as he reached to touch her face. In her sleep Lara smiled, and Luke felt himself smile back.  He whispered her name as he touched her again.

   Lara stirred in response, calling his name.  It was a question, her eyes still blinking away the sleepy uncertainty.

   Luke grinned.  "I hope so."  He couldn't resist teasing her with his response.

   She looked toward his voice, her eyes searching the dark.  For a moment it was too much to believe that he was really there, and she hesitated to let her weary mind fool her again... but the sleepy confusion was gone from her in the next split second as tentative emotions reached out to the Force, and she felt him there, real.

   "Luke," she breathed.  And she threw herself at his waist, almost knocking him backwards. 

   His laugh quietly muffled into a sigh as he wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes tight. He had almost forgotten the feel of having her in his arms.

   "Lara," he breathed, smiling.  His voice hardly seemed to work through the overwhelming rush of emotion, but that didn't matter. He pressed his cheek to the top of her head, taking in the smell and soft brush of her hair against his face.  "I missed you," he finally whispered.

   Lara felt herself laugh as she held on to him with a relief and a happiness that was hard to contain.  Then she pushed back gently, her hands and her eyes searching over him, still disbelieving the reality. 

   "My beautiful love," she managed to speak through a breathless smile; and worry crept in as she reached to gently touch the remnant of an ugly gash over his eye.  She could see the troubled shadows in his face as her eyes returned to search his. "Are you all right?" she breathed, concern overpowering her worry.  

   Luke nodded, closing his eyes. "I will be," he whispered, his arms strong around her. Suddenly his exhaustion had returned in full force. For a moment he was tempted to avoid telling her the truth; for a moment he wished that she didn't know him well enough to see it for herself....

   "I have to go to the Inner Council in the morning and tell them that one of my two apprentices has fallen to the dark side."

   Lara closed her eyes.  "Darlik," she whispered.

   Luke nodded. "The message Atamvr received was a set up. None of his family on Orem sent that transmission; they were all fine.  But while we were there all hell started to break loose around us, and Darlik– 

   "I really thought I could prevent this," Luke whispered. "I knew there was danger in him, but I thought he would come around in time.  I – I misjudged him terribly. Everything was a deception."

   Lara's hands found his face. "You did everything you could to show him the light. I know that."

   Luke shook his head hesitantly.  "It wasn't enough."

   "It has to be. Darlik has chosen his own fate, and no one can change that now but him."

   "I know what the Council will say."

   "You couldn't have turned him away.  If you had it to do again, you still couldn't.  That's part of who you are," she whispered, drawing him away from the storm of doubt and blame that she could feel inside him. "I want our children to learn that from you."

   Luke's breath released slowly. He was stunned by her unexpected words and awed at the sentiment underlying them. Then a smile crossed him as the thought of his young children unexpectedly lightened his emotions. 

   "Did you look in on them?" she asked seamlessly, understanding the cause for his smile.

   "They've gotten so big," he mused, the smile spreading into a huge, disbelieving grin. He was happy and proud, but he was also mystified.

   Lara smiled back at him, her words coming quickly. "Mark's teeth are coming in. And Ben's trying to crawl."

   "I'm glad I didn't miss that."

   "I am too," Lara echoed. "You gave him everything you could, Luke," she finally spoke softly. "He had to choose to turn away from it."

   His eyes flashed over hers, briefly repressing a smile.  "Atamvr said nearly the same thing." 

   "Your apprentice was right," she whispered, smiling. "And what ever comes, we can handle it."

   He hesitated, taking her hands and holding them in his.  "I asked Khabarakh for that Nogrhi guard we talked about."

   Lara braced herself. "Then you think he would come here."

   "It's a possibility I can't ignore," Luke admitted carefully.  "This isn't over for Darlik.  He'll come for me again."

   Lara looked away from him as she tried to take a clearing breath.  She trusted his decision completely, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she had just been backed into a corner.  "I won't have them be afraid, Luke," she said softly, determined and uncertain at the same time. "They have to know that they're safe."

   Luke touched her, gently pulling her eyes back to him. "I promise.  We'll give them that, no matter what."

   Lara nodded, and she closed her eyes as Luke hugged her.

   "We knew the risk was there, and we knew that there would be danger," she whispered. "But it feels so different now," she admitted.

   "Now it has a face and a name, but it's no different.  We'll do what ever we have to to keep the twins safe."

   "And what about the New Republic?"

   "This will difficult," Luke acknowledged.  "It will be hard for the Council to accept it, but they must."

   "They have to understand that it's not a defeat. It's a setback, and a serious one, but it doesn't mean that your efforts are doomed to failure. Look at Atamvr."

   Luke nodded. "He was amazing throughout all of this.  I'm proud of the Jedi he's becoming."

   "I'm proud of you," she whispered. "And I'm so grateful that you're home safe."

   "I love you," Luke breathed.

   The tone of his voice and the strength of his words made it clear that that was the most important thing he was feeling now.  Lara felt the brush of his hair against her forehead and the soft touch of his hand against her neck.  She smiled at the feel of his emotions pushing into hers; he wanted very much to kiss her, and she lifted her chin to press her lips to his.

   Luke's forehead brushed hers when the kiss gently broke and they breathed again, but the strength in his embrace didn't lessen. Lara didn't resist when her husband's strong arms pulled her closer. She smiled at him as he bent to kiss her again, and her smile widened when his weight shifted her balance and they sprawled backward together, both of them laughing at the clumsy humor, then smiling at the wonderful feel of each other's closeness.  They lay there looking into each other's eyes for a long moment.

   "I love you too," she finally whispered, pulling her arms close around him, letting her nose brush his as she tilted her head to his kiss.

   Luke parted from her lips and pushed back slowly on ginger muscles.  He had been able to break their fall with his forearm so that his weight hadn't fallen on Lara when they had toppled over, but, as much as he enjoyed the closeness of their predicament, the awkwardness of it was causing his side to ache in protest, and Luke knew that if he didn't change that soon he wouldn't be able to mask it much longer.

   Lara knew that Luke was worn out.  After everything he had been through he was understandably tired and sore, but there was something more serious in his movement.  Lara felt herself wince when his weight shifted and she quickly pulled her knees under her, holding him gently as she helped him to sit up.

   "Luke," she whispered. A heavy feeling came over her emotions as she realized that he probably needed medical attention much more than he wanted her to know, but Luke only shook his head slightly.

   "It doesn't matter," he whispered. "I'm home," he said, smiling.  "It can wait. Everything else can wait," he breathed. 

   She could see the weariness in him, but his voice and his sense were filled with something stronger... and harder to resist.  Her hand brushed his forehead, affectionately pushing his hair back from his face, and Lara let go a heavy sigh, her brow furrowing. 

   "I should make you go to med, this very second," she breathed, but her heart wasn't in the argument. The worry was quickly becoming impossible to hold on to with his eyes so clear on hers and the support of his arms' gentle hold around her.... 

   His lips brushed hers, softly, asking. "This is all that matters," Luke whispered, watching the uncertainty fade from her eyes.  He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her... softly, tenderly, reaching out to her with all of the love that he felt for her....  And he felt the last of her caution, the worry in her concern for him, slowly fade as her arms moved around him.

   She held close to him, breathless from his kiss, feeling the soft tickle of his breath against her face as they both breathed, holding each other.  Luke let the moment draw long before he smiled and pulled Lara back to his kiss. He loved the excitement in her smile, loved seeing the passion that sparkled in her beautiful eyes.  Her face in his hands, he kissed her again.

   Lara let her arms slip from around him and closed her eyes to the feel of his kiss, his touch. Luke's hands moved down her neck and her arms until his fingertips found her waist and slid softly under her clothing.  She sighed when she felt the gentle pressure of his touch against her back, his hands giving time to worry-tensed muscles. And she arched her neck as his lips sought out the hollow of her throat. Lara whispered his name, feeling the warmth of his kiss, his breath, and the soft touch of his hands against her skin... feeling the trust that she gave completely to his kiss and to his touch.  

   Her lips brushed his as she caught his eyes, and, gingerly, she reached to his waist to pull his shirt over his head.  Luke winced, even as she tried to be slow, to be careful. And Lara touched him gently, hurting for the collection of scrapes and bruises he carried as unhealed and partially healed injuries.  Luke leaned his forehead against hers as her fingertips traced over him lightly, her hands moving over his shoulders and back, then carefully across his sides and his waist.

   Her hands came up to his face, and her fingertips traced against his hairline just before she kissed him there, then at his temple. Then her attention flickered to the gash above his eye.

   Luke slowly pulled back to look in her eyes. He could feel the conflict in her emotions as she studied him, as she hurt for him, wondering how the man she loved could have come to so much harm, far away from her.  Lara lowered her eyes rather than let him see there what she knew he could already feel in her emotions.

   Gently, he brushed his lips to hers, asking her without words not to worry, telling her again that it didn't matter. Her kiss answered his, and her fingertips caressed his hairline again in that way of hers....  He could feel her love for him, in remembered whispers, precious promises that he knew he would never forget.  Luke closed his eyes again and let himself enjoy the feel of her affections.  A careful caress, a light touch, the warm softness of her lips... it was amazing.  In injuries that still brought him pain and muscles that still tensed in anticipation of it, her gentle touch and tender kiss brought pleasure.  The almost forgotten sensation, so simple and sweet, the pain was becoming a distant memory against it. 

   He opened his eyes slowly as her lips brushed his collar and then his neck.  Lara pulled closer to him, and her lips brushed his as they smiled at one another.  Luke looked in her eyes, the smile softening between them, and he kissed her very slowly and very deeply. She felt his desire, and another brush of her lips enjoyed the playful give and take between them. A smile crossed her husband's face too, as he worked at catching his breath.

   They both found themselves smiling uncontrollably as they let this seduction slowly unfold, rediscovering the familiar in so many emotions and sensations that they shared with each other, saved for each other.  It was everything missed and longed for, and it was the full expression of the love that had never parted from them.

   They kissed, still holding on to breathless smiles, trusting what was shared between them. They reveled in the joy of returning to each other, sharing to the depths of themselves, and giving to each other again with everything in them. They watched the thrill of pleasure touch that love that joined them and bound them.  And they made love to each other slowly, enjoying each moment and every feeling to the fullest. Never wanting the night to end....

~

   In the wake of that shared closeness there was want for nothing more than to rest together.  Safe and warm in each other's arms, neither could sleep, and suddenly it wasn't so painful to remember missing each other in a million ways... all the sleepless nights and the cruel tricks of memory.

   "There were so many times I dreamt that I heard your voice or felt your touch."  Lara pressed her lips to Luke's shoulder, the movement coming slowly, deliberately.  He opened his eyes as he felt her move against him, as her lips brushed his collar and then his neck. She tilted her head to face him, a slight smile crossing her features as she looked in his eyes. "It had become something that I expected, just knowing that you were here with me.... I missed that so much," she whispered. "I missed you so much."

   "I know," he whispered, his hand softly stroking her face, her hair. "There were so many nights I could hardly find sleep, only to dream myself here and wake up expecting you beside me," he trailed off softly.  "A million different times I caught myself wishing that I could feel you, talk to you... and when things were their worst I longed for your touch, the feel of your arms around me."

   She sighed.  "I wish I could have been with you through this," she whispered. 

   Luke smiled. "You were," he whispered.  He took her hand, holding it to his chest, his heartbeat. "Right here, where it matters most, in my heart. Your love and your strength are a part of me."

   She studied his face for a long moment.  "But it's not the same as flesh and blood, arms to hold you."

   Luke closed his eyes, and he tightened his arms around her as she laid her head back against him.  He could feel the intensity of raw emotion behind her simple statement, and he knew what it meant for her to say it.  Lara showed her feelings. He knew that she needed him, and wanted him with her every day.  It was something in her eyes and in her touch, as tangible as the words, and it was there in her voice and in her smile when she teased him, when she told him she loved him.  But there was a vulnerability that came in saying it out loud, the need.

   He sensed that discomfort in her emotions. He knew that there were still places in her that were made deeply uncomfortable by that kind of vulnerability, parts of her that still wanted to cling to her own strength for protection. From the very beginning Luke had known that, and he had accepted that side of her... but more times than he could possibly count, she had amazed him by letting her love for him overcome that side of her nature: the need for self-reliance, and an unwillingness to accept her own weakness and vulnerability. 

   He saw it again now. She didn't hesitate to let him know what she was feeling, and once the words had been spoken the strain of discomfort had already passed. She was content to settle her head to his shoulder, content just to feel the tracing of his fingertips at her back as he held her in his arms. The strength of her love, matched with her willingness to belong to him, continued to amaze him.

   He kissed the top of her head affectionately.  "What would I ever do without you?

   Lara smiled playfully in return. "I never intend to let you find out," she whispered.

   Luke laughed.  He could feel her smile against him, feel the sense of happiness and contentment in her that echoed his own, and his heart belonged to her all the more.... 

   "This is what I wanted," he whispered in her ear, "times I longed for home.  It was this moment, this peace."

   Her only response was to reach her arm across his chest, pulling closer to him.  Luke's arm moved to rest over hers, lightly letting the heel of his palm rub over her dedication band, the symbol of their promise to each other. His touch silently brought to mind everything that that promise meant. It joined their lives, it bound their hearts, and made it his place to be here, so close, beside her. 

   They both felt the unique and unspeakable value in that quiet moment, just having each other near, comfortably sharing the silence. Such precious, precious silence... a few more moments of quiet shared until sleep finally joined their nearness, adding its warm and peaceful touch to the night

~

   Laus stalked across the room toward the place where Lara was held captive, in his hand a vibro blade. Her eyes were calm, a little sad, but there was no fear in her – not for Laus and not for her own death.

   Don't let it end this way.  With each heartbeat Mara Jade felt herself desperately hoping that someone would intervene, but those beats each passed with nothing but the sound of Laus' footsteps and the blade keeping time. 

   And Lara's time slowly ran out.  She watched her attacker come nearer, not allowing her eyes to fall to the deadly blade Laus carried   In her heart, she felt love: the love of friends and family, her husband and their children.  She knew she had made the right choice for them.  In her heart, she had nothing to fear; she felt at peace. And she waited calmly for the end to come.

   Then came the searing pain of the blade. Immediately, she gasped for breath and tried to hunch over.  Laus reached a hand to the wall at her back, releasing the power to her restraint mechanism. Lara staggered forward without its support, gasping against the tightness in her chest. But Laus held her upright now, and the pain became indescribable as he sunk the blade in deeper.

   Her breath heaved in short exhales, the oxygen she needed remaining illusive as her body strained to keep alive.  She felt the pressure of the blade's hilt at her sternum, and Laus' palm at her back. Aside from those two sensations, her body felt oddly weightless.

   "You brought this on yourself," Laus sneered, the heat of his breath prickling at her ear. Then he pulled back on the blade and let her go.

   Lara cried out as she fell to the ground, and she lay still there, gasping for breath. The enormous pressure in her chest had released and she could breathe – barley, in short, painful breaths.  She held her forearm against her sternum, pressure to the wound, but the serrated vibro blade had done most of its damage when Laus had pulled it away; the blood she was losing had begun to spread, from a few fallen drops to a thick, red puddle.

   She lay down against the floor, pillowed her head against her forearm, and waited. She was already starting to feel cold, each breath leaving a little more easily than it came.... One more breath came and went, her entire body reaching for peace, and she was gone.

   Mara Jade lowered her head.  She could only feel a numb sense of disbelief in the wake of what she had just seen. Minutes grew long and passed, hard to know how many. Then the door Laus had exited through opened again.

   Luke and his apprentice had tracked Laus here.

   Skywalker's lightsaber blade quickly retracted as he breathed her name and rushed into the room. Atamvr stopped closer to the door, trying to put his own worry aside enough to cover their backs.  Luke dropped down beside his wife, whose back was facing the door they had just entered through.

   "Lara," he breathed, worry and urgency thick in his voice as he spoke her name and reached across her body.  His hand on her neck sought a pulse, but Luke froze for a split second when he saw the trace of blood on the floor beside her, the paleness of her skin.  Gently, he turned her toward him, letting her head and shoulder lay across his knees.  Trembling fingers shifted their position against her neck.  He saw the wound, the blood that had soaked through her clothing and spilled onto the floor... and there was so much blood.

   He closed his eyes, shock and helplessness consuming him.  He knew.  But he couldn't believe it. He didn't know what to do except to hold her. Lara's head fell back as his arm moved under her shoulder to cradle her body against him.  And in that moment the finality of her death hit him. He held her, as he had done a million times before, but this was the last time he'd ever hold the woman he loved. Her eyes wouldn't flicker up to meet his, there would be no gentle reassurance from her voice, no teasing smile to lift his worry, no strength in her arms to return his embrace....  He held her gently, but her body was limp, and all those things he still expected – they were gone forever.

   Luke felt his heart cry out in pain, but his voice could only whisper a strained sob.  "No–"

   Atamvr turned away, filled with grief and tears.

   "Lara–" Luke half sobbed, whispering to his wife.  As the initial shock faded, the pain he felt gave to denial.  She was gone, but how could she be? He was holding her in his arms.  His heart still belonged to her.  He could almost feel the warmth of her presence.... His blood turned ice cold at that thought; he realized that he couldn't feel her.  And it was more than just the Force's absence.  Lara was gone. 

   He bent down over her, laid her body gently to the floor, and he struggled to breathe through emotions that threatened to completely overwhelm him.  Even through his tears, she was beautiful.  He cried out of disbelief; the strength of the love he felt was no longer there looking back at him, shining through her eyes.  Her beautiful eyes were open to slits, but unseeing. 

   He'd seen her overcome heartbreaking pain, and watched those eyes fill with such love and joy. They'd been his anchor through all that had shaken him.  They'd been his window to let him see her heart; shown him her pain, her trust, and, in his favorite memories, the incredible depth of her love. Slowly, he bent to kiss her forehead as his fingers ran over her eyelids, softly closing them.

   He had the strongest remembrance of kissing her goodnight in the motion....  And he felt his heart break as his strength failed him and he leaned against her, his cheek to hers, wanting desperately to feel her arms move around him.  Luke pulled himself back, fighting the tears that racked through him, but the memories wouldn't stop.  He cupped a hand to her cheek, remembering the first time she'd kissed him, needing all her bravery to tell him that she loved him... and the joy that she had felt when he had answered that he loved her.  His fingers caressed her face, tracing her hairline in a return of the caress she'd always given him... and he remembered even more intimate moments, a thousand in each heartbeat. None of them seemed able to capture the love that she'd given him.

   He touched her softly and kissed her forehead again before leaning his forehead to hers. Luke stayed there, close to her, just trying to breathe for a long moment. He knew he needed to break the contact, but every time he tried, the emotions were overwhelming. He closed his eyes to give her one last kiss, a soft brush of her lips.  He wanted one more moment, one more gesture, one more memory. Forever wouldn't be enough time to know how much she meant to him, much less to somehow bring himself to let go.... More than anything, he didn't want to have to let go.

   "Luke–" Atamvr finally spoke.  His voice was gentle through his own pain, but worried, uncomfortable.

   "Please–" Luke whispered.  He felt a stab of fear that his friend might try to force him away. "I know she's gone.  I... I need to say goodbye," he stated the truth, and he tried to keep his voice under control despite the sob that threatened to escape him. "I just don't know how," he managed weakly.  "I don't know how to say goodbye to her."

   Another few moments passed, and Atamvr allowed Luke the time he needed to come to terms with his grief.

   He touched his wife's face once more, taking a deep breath.  Tears fell as he sat back, his eyes finally moving away from her still form.

   "She can't stay here," Luke finally stated, his words soft and determined. Then his red-rimmed eyes raised to meet Atamvr's worried gaze.  "I'll need your help." 

   Atamvr only nodded. 

   "She needs peace.  Somewhere to rest," Luke added, his soft voice ragged.  "I can give her that," he managed to whisper.  "I want to take her back to Marnia. She'll be close to Mark. She'd like that."  The thought gave Luke a sense of peace, as though he would be returning her to her brother's care... and Mark would somehow take care of her where Luke could not. 

   But Luke still felt terribly weak, unable to carry this burden and unsure of his own strength. "But I need you to help me," he said to Atamvr again. "I don't think I can let her go, alone," he admitted.

   Atamvr felt overwhelmed watching Luke trying to struggle through this in the only way he could, the only way he knew.  Trying to serve her.  And Atamvr's heart twisted to see his pain; he knew how much Lara would want for Luke to be taken care of.

   He placed a hand to his friend's shoulder. "I'll do anything you need of me," he offered honestly. 

   Luke only nodded.  "Thank you, Atamvr."  And he took a slow breath.  "I know you loved her too."

   Atamvr swallowed hard. "That's what's going to get us through this," he finally spoke, gathering all of the solid strength he could muster.  "We'll all know that we couldn't have loved her any more than we did. And she knew that. She loved us the same."

   They stayed there silently for a few more moments.

   "Let me take her?" Atamvr asked gently. 

   Luke nodded and slowly got to his feet as Atamvr bent down.  Kneeling, the younger man removed his robes and wrapped the warm fabric around her body before he pulled her carefully into his arms. 

   As Atamvr picked Lara up one arm shifted from underneath her, and there was an eerie clatter.  Atamvr froze in place as Luke crouched down wordlessly, but he did not reach to the floor. He reached into his own sleeve as he stared down at the floor, and Luke closed his eyes, removing his dedication band from within the sleeve of his robes.  He paused only for a moment to stare blankly at it before he picked Lara's up off the floor.  And Luke tried not to remember the only other time that he had held the both of those bands in his hand... the way he had attached them to his belt with enormous pride, hardly able to contain his anticipation at the thought of placing Lara's around her forearm and promising himself to her. 

   These bands they had placed on each other's arms on their wedding day... and they had so easily tightened into fit once both had been in place.  Until this moment, it had been a part of him, as much as she had been.... Luke could feel Atamvr's gaze upon him, but he didn't look at his friend; there was nothing Luke could say to explain it.  He just stood and followed as Atamvr carried Lara's body from Laus' laboratory.

   Force! Why didn't someone intervene? Mara Jade closed her eyes, her mind reeling against the reality set before her.  The robed Jedi in her dreams had the power to stop this carnage.... Why didn't he?  Mara wheeled around, feeling dizzy as the scene that she had been witnessing shifted; this time she found herself on a cliff overlooking a beautiful sea inlet.

   There, Luke Skywalker was kneeling alone beside a fresh grave. The morning mists had cleared away, leaving the early sun to rest warmly against his shoulder, and the sound of waves rushing to shore against the rocks could be heard a short distance below.

   "This was a favorite spot of hers," a voice offered sadly. Luke rocked back on his heels as the woman's  footsteps came to a rest just behind him.

   "She would often ride out here early in the morning, watch the rising sun clear away the mists over the sea....  She said it helped clear her mind.  That was the reason I had Mark laid here, along with their parents," Moranda finished quietly. 

   "Lara never mentioned that to me," Luke said quietly. 

   "I never told her what I had done," Moranda admitted.  "And I don't know if she ever came here again after I left."

   Luke shook his head. "I wish I understood this."

   "It's not how I thought things would end." Moranda's voice echoed his own confusion as she crouched down a short distance away. "When I came back, I was glad that I didn't find her here. I hoped she had made a new life for herself, far from this place... but I also hoped that I would see her again. I imagined her coming back one more time," she trailed off.  "It shouldn't have been like this," she said, her voice struggling over the words.

   Luke was quiet.  "Your friendship meant a lot to her, Moranda," he finally offered.  "Whenever she spoke of home, it was usually the beauty of this place, the times spent in your and Mark's company – they were the fondest in her heart."

   Moranda sat down in the grass and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "She was the best friend I ever had, like a younger sister to me." She trailed off again. "When she came back here, after... her heart was broken.  She had gambled everything, and lost; she knew that, and she was willing to accept that fate as best she could.  But she wasn't willing to risk anyone else's life on her behalf.  She sent me away so that I could have a chance to rebuild my own life.  Her friendship was completely unselfish."

   "She loved with all her heart," Luke whispered in agreement. "It was the only way she knew."

   They sat in silence for a long while, until the silence was broken by the approach of another set of footsteps. Moranda stood and met the newcomer with a hug.

   "How is he?" the younger woman asked.

   "He hasn't moved from this spot since the service ended. He's devastated," Moranda answered honestly, "but he's holding together."

   Luke stood and Leia came to him, hugged her brother tightly. She felt the turmoil in his emotions.  He had managed to keep those emotions contained since she and Han had arrived late last night.  He had kept himself composed during the service that had been held here at dawn... but Leia could sense that her brother's emotions were gradually slipping beyond his control.

   "Leia."  Luke breathed, holding her as tightly as she held him.  "I don't know how I'm going to get through this."

   "I know it hurts, Luke," she whispered.  His tears already assured her of that.  She shifted her arms around her brother's strong shoulders, and tried not to notice the trembling.  "It's gonna be hard without her," Leia mused, tears streaking her cheeks as she felt the pain of Lara's loss anew. "But, slowly, we'll figure out how to live our lives again, without her in them."

   Luke sobbed against her shoulder and Leia held him tighter, protectively.  He was breaking, and not just his heart; she could feel his entire being struggling not to collapse under this weight.

   "I can't imagine it, Leia," he managed.  "It scares me to death even to try. The thought of never seeing her again... of being without her for the rest of my life....  All the places in my heart that she filled; I feel so hollow without her. I'd give anything – just to have her back – just for one moment."

   "I know, Luke," Leia whispered gently, stroking his hair.  "But we have to try to let go now.  That doesn't mean we'll ever forget the way she touched our lives.  She'll live in us in all of those ways. We'll find balance between the past and the future a little at a time," she assured him softly.

     Luke took a breath, regaining some control, and Leia pulled back from him enough to study her brother's face.  She wiped his cheeks and smoothed his hair. "Why don't you try to rest a little now?" she finally asked of him.  She knew from Atamvr that Luke had hardly eaten or slept for the past several days.

   Luke shook his head hesitantly, his mind returning to the only task that he dreaded more than what had already been accomplished here today. 

   "What have you told the twins?" he asked carefully.

   "We tried to give them as much of the truth as we thought they could hear," she answered him.  "I knew that's what the both of you would have wanted," she added quietly.  "They know that their mother is gone away, and that they've come here to help us all say goodbye, but I'm sure that they don't yet understand what it means, that it's not temporary. And of course they know that everyone is very sad."

   Luke nodded. "I want to see them."

   Leia's face was worried when Luke met her gaze a moment later.

   He managed a smile.  "Do I look that bad, that I'd make it harder for them?"

   She smiled back and took his hand as she shook her head. "You're just hurting so much, Luke.  I don't want you to have to be brave for them, and I don't want them to see the hurt either," she admitted slowly.

   Luke smiled again. "I can't keep the hurt from them, Leia.  They have too much of Lara in them already. They'll see straight through me, and if I don't respect that and face them truthfully, then it will scare them.  And you know Lara would never stand for that," he finished, a bitter smile coming through his tears.

   Leia squeezed his hand in reassurance and spoke quietly to Moranda before she walked away. Moranda nodded in reply and walked back toward the cliffs overlooking the water below, staying with Luke.  His gaze remained fixed on the place where Lara's remains now rested.

   "I know I'm going to miss her for the rest of my life," he said quietly, tears in his eyes.  "I can accept that.  But I don't know how I can ever be what she was for them....  Lara once told me that of all the ways she loved me, she loved me best as a father." He fought to speak again.  "I remember thinking it was an amazing thing for her to say, but I didn't really understand it then....  Now I do.

   "When I think of all the ways I'll miss her, the ones that hit me the hardest are the little things I took for granted. The way she held them when they were upset, and knew just the right moment to try to make them laugh.  She was always the one they called for at night.  I could make huge productions out of slaying invisible monsters, but she was the one who held on to them until they realized that the nightmare was passed and the monsters were harmless; then they could laugh at me for trying to find them.

   "I love my wife, my best friend, more than words can ever express. But the side of her that was my children's mother... is the most irreplaceable of all. I know that's how I'll miss her most," he whispered.

   Luke wiped his eyes, and slowly turned away from his wife's grave.

   Leia had returned. She held Mark's hand as they walked across the grass.  Ben had asked to be let down, and Han let him go.  As soon as his feet hit the ground, he raced to where his father stood. And Luke picked him up to hug him and tousle his hair before letting him down again.

   Moranda could only stare through her tears as Luke hugged each of his sons.  The little boys looked like their father: sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. But there was a great deal of their mother in them as well.  They were Lara's sons... and it was deeply unfair that they would be deprived of her. Moranda moved away to give Luke privacy, retreating to stand beside Leia and Han. 

   "It's not fair," she spoke under her breath as Luke sat alone with his children, trying to explain to them again that their mother couldn't be with them now, that she was going to stay here, to rest here.

   "No," Han Solo growled before he turned restlessly on his heel.  "It's too much," he finished under his breath, only to walk a short distance away before turning again, pacing. "Blast!" he cursed softly. "The Kid's had more than his share already," he mumbled.  But something gave in his voice, betraying the helplessness of pain and grief that lurked under his anger and frustration.  Han had stopped in his tracks and lowered his head, raking his hand through his hair.

   Leia placed a hand on Moranda's arm, urging her not to interfere.  "He'll be all right.  Just give him a few minutes to deal with it in his own way."

   By the time the twins were ready to rejoin their aunt and uncle, Han had proved Leia correct. 

   "Anything you need, Luke," Han whispered, giving his brother-in-law a strong hug, "you just name it."

   "Thanks, Han," Luke whispered, releasing him and allowing Han and Leia to lead Mark and Ben away.

   "I'm almost thankful that they don't get it yet," Luke confided softly as he and Moranda watched them go.  "They would rather play with their cousins than sit still in this spot and try to understand how their mother will be here, and not with them.  I can't blame them for that," he admitted quietly.  "They just don't understand what forever is, yet. They only know it makes everyone sad that Lara's not with us. 

   "But the longer it goes, they'll realize.... And I dread that day when they do understand, when they have to know that they'll never see their mother again, never hear her voice, or feel her special comfort."

   Luke closed his eyes, burying his face behind his hand.  That future was too barren a reality, and his emotions too raw to try and contemplate it. 

   Again, the scene shifted violently.  Mara winced, knowing that the sick feeling in her stomach was owed more to the content of what she was seeing than the sudden movement of her surroundings.  The soft daylight had changed to darkness, and the sound of the rushing waves was replaced only with an empty silence.

   "There's nothing you can do for him tonight, Princess," Han breathed.  He had rolled over to pull an arm around his wife, and though his voice was heavy with sleep Leia remained wide awake. "Sleep now. Save your energy for tomorrow," he encouraged her.

   Leia smiled; Han was used to her sleeplessness, but he still worried over her. She felt more determined every day not to take him for granted....

   "I know, Han," she answered, but she found it difficult to explain to him how her brother's emotions kept pushing into her own, especially when she was asleep, and his pain was as impossible for her to ignore as her own. Leia hadn't realized how much a part of their lives Lara really had become.  She had been family, but she had also been a friend whose calm strength and easy manner Leia missed on a near daily basis... and she missed her very much now. Ironically enough, Lara was one of the few people who truly would have understood this pain.

   She suppressed another sigh; Leia felt almost guilty for having those feelings.... She missed her friend, but her loss was nothing next to Luke's. It had been several months since she had stood with her brother following the funeral, his heart broken and his spirit buckling under the weight of his pain and grief....

   She had stood beside him again when they had returned to Coruscant a few days later. Han had taken the twins to collect their things from Han and Leia's, so it had been just the two of them standing in the hall of the Imperial Palace when Luke had keyed open the door to his family's suit.  He had taken a deep breath, tears welling up in him again as he stepped inside and stood in the empty room, feeling her absence.

   Leia had hugged him, laying her cheek to his shoulder as she stood at his back.

   "She should be here," Luke had finally whispered.  "I knew she wouldn't be, but it still feels like she should be."

   "I know," Leia had answered. "I feel it too.  This was her home, and she belongs in this place."

   "This is going to take more than I have, Leia," he had managed.  "I don't know how to do this."

   "None of us do, Luke," she had assured him.  "But none of us will have to do it alone. We're still a family, and we'll come through this as a family."

   He had nodded and whispered a thank you, but even then Leia had known there would be much that no one could help him through.

   He had told her that the nights were the hardest for him, that waking up he always expected Lara to be beside him. "I reach for her in my sleep, or dream... the way things used to be between us," Luke had tried to express it to Leia. "I can feel her touch, her love.  But no matter how vividly I feel it, or how fully I expect her to be there, I always wake up alone."

   Leia cringed at the imagination, and she folded her arm over her husband's, closing her eyes to lay feeling the warm pull of his breathing against her shoulder.

   A short distance away Luke sensed Leia's gentle worry, and he felt when she drifted asleep.  Eventually he also fell into a restless sleep... until there was a familiar touch at the edge of his mind. For a moment he thought the twins had come in to sleep with him again, and he rolled over to make room for them.  But the door was closed, the room quiet. 

   "Luke."

   He felt it more than he heard it.  He was still asleep, and part of his mind filled with dread.

   "I'm sorry, Luke," she whispered.  "This was the only way I could come to you."

   "Lara?" he breathed. "Is it really you? I've been wrong so many times."

   She smiled at him, beautiful.  "It's me this time. I've been with you all along, Luke, but I couldn't let you know it. I wanted to, but I knew that wouldn't help you.  I couldn't stay, and you all needed to go on without me."

   "Those other times?" he asked.

   "Only your mind and your heart missing me," she whispered. "I wish I could have made it easier somehow."

   "I have missed you," he whispered through tears. And he reached a hand to her.

   She shook her head gently. "You can't touch me, Luke," she breathed.  "It's hard to explain, but I'm in a different place than this.  A good place," she clarified. "But separate."

   Luke nodded numbly, just now noticing the luminous sheen that seemed to surround her, binding her being together.  For reasons he couldn't entirely explain that sight made him smile.

   Lara did understand. "I had help from a few others here," she admitted.

   Luke nodded, his smile slowly fading.  "I'm afraid to ask... but why now, Lara?"

   She smiled again.  "Because there's enough distance now. I can finally do you more good than I would harm by coming to you."  Then she paused.  "And because I needed to say goodbye to you, too."

   He felt his eyes sting with tears at the answer he had feared that she would give. "Lara, even if I can never see you again, just promise me you'll be with me."

   She could feel the trace of fear behind his need, how desperately he didn't want to be without her.  And she smiled through her own tears.  "I can't, Luke," she whispered. "No one can control death. Only love," she breathed, "and I'll always love you."

   "I love you, so much, Lara," he whispered, the tears falling down his face. 

   "I know," she breathed again.  "With you, I always knew," she smiled. 

   He laughed, and wiped the tears away.  Her face had become serious again. 

   "I only need one more thing from you, Luke," she stated gently.

   "Anything," he managed.

   "My place in your heart. Promise me that you won't let it stand empty.  Pour out that love that you gave me; share our memories with our children and try to remember me to them by loving them the way I did. Honor me," she whispered, "by not letting the parts of you I love most be lost."

   She paused.  "I don't ever want to be a sad memory for you, Luke.  I loved you too well in my life to ever regret not having more time.  And you did the same for me.  So don't be afraid to live without me.  My love is a part of you; it always will be."

   "I promise, Lara," he whispered, fighting back tears as he looked in her eyes. He knew this was the last time, in this life, that he would ever see her.

   Then she smiled once more. "Goodbye, Luke," she whispered.  And then she was gone.

   Luke awoke suddenly, and he was out of bed in an instant.  One of the twins had had a nightmare.

   Mark looked up at his father, a lost expression on his tear-flushed face.  Luke scooped him up and held him, trying to put his own tousled emotions aside and concentrate completely on his sons' emotions.

   But he felt a different confusion growing in them as the fear of nightmare things faded; Luke had felt the same confusion as he struggled with waking thoughts. They had all expected Lara when Mark called for her. Luke had expected it, perhaps most of all.

   The tears settled, and the fear passed.  The boys wriggled back under their covers, but when Luke bent down to tuck them in, that lost and confused look remained etched on Mark's face.

   "I wanted Mommy," he said, sad and puzzled. 

   "I know," Luke answered sadly. And he gently smoothed his son's hair. "I want her too."

   And with that, he could feel them begin to realize.  They understood for the first time that this was something beyond even their father's control, and the seriousness of that scared them. Luke gathered them to him, determined to love them through the pain that had finally set in for them. 

   "Remember what I told you on Marnia," he prompted softly.  "Your mother loves us, very, very much. And she would be with us if there were any way that she could, but we have to be without her now.  I can't change that," he whispered, pulling them nearer to him, "and neither can she. 

   "But we'll always love her.  We'll keep her close in our memories, and her love will never leave us. You know why?" he whispered as he bent close to them.  Their heads each shook in answer. "Because whenever someone loves you as much as she did, that love becomes a part of you.  Your mother is a part of each of you now. She's in your hearts.  And she'll always be there," Luke whispered.

   Mara's eyes smarted as she turned away from the scene before her.  It had come like a collage, a series of overlapping images and emotions, and Mara expected still more to come. But that was the last she saw: Luke trying to comfort his children as they struggled to understand their mother's loss – a loss that none of them should have had to endure.

   Outrage welled up within her.  Of all the possibilities she had seen over the past several months, this had been the worst, the most heart-wrenching... and Mara didn't understand why she was being shown these things.  Why didn't he intervene? The robed Jedi had the power to stop all this, but he always stood in shadows.

   "Coward!" Mara yelled at the top of her lungs. "How can you do nothing?"

   The figure in the shadows shrugged and turned its back on Mara, leaving her standing there alone, her hands trembling with rage. She tried to get control over herself as she looked down at her trembling hands... and Mara felt her heart freeze up as the last piece of information was revealed.  She saw her own hands within the robes of a Jedi Knight....

   Mara Jade bolted awake in a cold sweat, sitting up against the covers that seemed to weigh her down. Another vision.  She sat there, staring down at her own trembling hands, the vividness of this vision impossible to ignore.  She couldn't stand back any longer. She could no longer pretend that this didn't concern her, didn't involve her... clearly, the Force was telling her that it did.

   Mara pushed away the covers. "You win," she mumbled to no one in particular as she rolled out of her bunk.  "I'll go."  The last of her doubt evaporated as she made the decision; she knew it was the right one. Truthfully, she knew that it was the only one.

   That night the Jade's Fire set a course for Coruscant.

~

   Luke's eyes fluttered as he came awake and shifting currents in the Force stilled into the peace that was presently surrounding him. He took a deep breath, one hand softly stroking Lara's hair. He had felt similar disturbances in the Force, usually when he had been in meditation on Orem, but none as strong as this.  He hoped Mara was all right....

   There was another, more subtle, shift in the Force as Lara stirred in his arms, coming awake.  He held her closer, smiling at his wife as her eyes lifted to his.

   "What's wrong," she asked softly.

   "Nothing," he whispered back, his smile widening as his fingertips stroked her face. The persistence in her gaze only decreased his smile slightly.  "A disturbance in the Force.  I've felt it before."

   "Is it trouble?" she asked.

   "No. More of a conflict, a struggle.  Like someone is trying to face a difficult truth... or to avoid it." 

   "Truth can't be avoided."

   "No, it can't," Luke admitted.

   "It will find her, no matter how hard Mara fights against it," Lara said softly.

   Luke's fingers came to a curious pause.  He was a little surprised at her insight, but he also felt a hesitation in Lara's emotions that he didn't quite understand.

   Lara lay her head back against her husband's shoulder, thinking about her own truth and about the woman with whom she shared a common past.  Long ago she had assumed the connection between them to mean that it would be the fate of one of them to die at the other's hand.  Since then their lives had followed a more complex path.  Lara couldn't explain what she felt, but she knew that her and Mara's fates were still intertwined.

~

   Atamvr was awake at first light and he found himself on Luke's doorstep shortly thereafter.  He had forgotten how good it felt to see the world clearly, no headaches and no blurred vision. He felt awake and alive, and even the heavy weight of today's day's events couldn't overshadow how good it felt to be back home. Orem was the place of his birth, and Atamvr knew that it would always feel like home because his family was there... but his future was here, in the light of a busy new Coruscant morning.

   Their returning to Coruscant, at least for the immediate future, would be an extension of the past few months.  There would be a lot to explain to the Senate Inner Council about what had happened on Orem over the last eight months, but the harder task would be in explaining to them what had happened with Darlik.  Luke would take responsibility for his lost apprentice. He would deal with Darlik and the threat that he posed, but Atamvr was determined to stand beside Luke through this, just as he had on Orem.  They had each shared the same mind set, the same challenges and hardships for eight months, and Atamvr wasn't ready to let go of his end now.

   He and Luke had developed a close kinship on Orem, and that was also a part of what found Atamvr at Luke's door early this morning. Selfish perhaps, but there was a part of him that couldn't resist the intrusion onto his friends' life, upon their love and happiness that was always so easily shared.  So Atamvr keyed in the entry code and let himself inside. He had considered announcing himself, but only for a moment.  Atamvr grinned and shook his head at himself; there were some things that shouldn't be intruded upon. He walked to the living room and sat down to wait. There was time.  He could allow his friends a little more time to wake.

~

   Luke awoke and slowly opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling.  He glanced to the chrono on the bedside table, and it confirmed the earliness of the hour. It was barely day, still mostly night. He kissed the top of Lara's head and tightened his arms around her.  The feel of her body against his was perfection... softness, tenderness, warmth, love.  He couldn't get enough of having her in his arms....  Then she pulled closer to him, partially waking, and Luke smiled.

   Luke's arms tightened around her again, and Lara could feel the flash of mischief in her husband's emotions.  A second later he was smiling down at her. 

   "Good morning," Luke whispered.

   Lara laughed and cupped her hand to the nape of his neck, sifting her fingers through his hair.

   "Good morning," she whispered back.  Luke kissed her lips, and the hand that wasn't in his hair slipped around him, holding him closer.  This man she loved. He was here. Real.  She could feel his breath on her skin, could touch him and hold him tight.  She had missed the warmth and comfort of this intimacy in a million different ways... missed this precious side of him that was hers alone to know.

   His breath tickled her ear as he leaned close enough to kiss her throat, finding that spot just below her ear that always made her laugh.

   Luke.

   He felt her voice in his mind, but it was more than just her voice; it was also her presence, warm and alive with the Force's energy. Lara rarely reached out to him that way. Her use of the Force was normally very careful and controlled... and Luke reveled in the gift of that simple contact, the closeness of her mind to his.

   "I seem to remember that my wife doesn't like being tickled," he whispered in her ear.    

   She was smiling when he pulled back to look in her eyes; her measuring gaze already warned him against further pursuing that course of action, and her eyebrows raised a bit at his words. 

   "I have to find some other way to make her laugh..." Luke whispered playfully. And there at the edge of his mind.... 

   Luke buried his head closer against her....  "Atamvr's here," he whispered. 

   Lara suppressed a sigh, her fingers stilling against his hair.

   "Promise," she breathed, her hand moving to cup his neck.  "Tonight." 

   He touched her softly in return, smiling.  "I promise you," he whispered and kissed her again, just brushing her lips. "We'll have tonight."

   She leaned her forehead against his and draped both arms around his neck, waiting one more moment before she kissed him back, keeping him to herself for a moment longer before gently letting him go.

   Then both of them smiled suddenly. Lara dropped her head when the silence was abruptly broken, and Luke kissed her lowered forehead affectionately.

   "Sounds like duty calling," he mumbled against her.

   "Mark," she grinned in answer, slowly lifting her eyes to him. Her expression was a combination of overwhelmed resignation and stubborn graciousness in the face of responsibility that was rushing in too quickly for her.

   "Time for you to go be a mother," he chided her playfully.

   "I'll check on him," they heard Atamvr call from the hallway, but Luke's eyes didn't leave his wife's.

   Her smile gently faded.  She could see the regret that he was trying hard to hold back. 

   "They'll hardly know me," he finally whispered, pained by that thought. 

   Her hand cupped his neck.  "They'll remember," she whispered.  "They know how it feels to be loved by you," Lara answered him.  "And love is easy to relearn," she finished, smiling as she looked deeply into his eyes and kissed him again.

~

   By the time Luke and Lara were up Atamvr was sitting in the kitchenette, Mark bouncing on his knee as Atamvr tried to interest him in one of his toys.  Atamvr looked up, grinning at his limited success as Lara stepped into the room.  She smiled nonetheless, and greeted Atamvr with a warm hug as she took Mark from him.

   "He's teething, and he's very picky," she explained, but Atamvr could already see him responding much better to his mother. "You look in better shape than my husband, at least," she grinned, timing the comment perfectly as Luke stepped into the room.

   Atamvr smiled widely, recognizing the humor she intended to create with that comment.  But looking past her, he realized that he really couldn't argue. Luke was just pulling on a shirt, leaving several particularly nasty cuts and bruises visible. But even so, Luke tried giving his wife a warning look, as if he was offended somewhere underneath his smile.

   Then he glanced to Atamvr. "You're going to get me in trouble," Luke teased as he straightened his tunic and retrieved his robe.

   "It's all an illusion," Atamvr explained lightly, picking up his part in the play.  "I went by med," he pointed out, and he looked between them again with a deprecating smile.  "I didn't have a family to hurry back to." 

   He hardly had chance to finish that thought.

   "Not true," Lara argued certainly. "You're a part of this family, Atamvr, and don't you forget it," she was quick to chide him with the last.

   Atamvr only nodded, and recognizing the playful gleam in her eyes, he exaggerated the last of the motion into a curtly obedient gesture followed by a half salute. And he caught Luke's resulting grin out of the corner of his eye, just before he sensed something decidedly more vivid in him.

   Luke couldn't restrain a wince as he stretched to pull his robe over his clothing.

   Lara's eyes returned to him. And the mischievous gleam that had accompanied her teasing was replaced by more honest concern as she walked to his side.

   "Make time, huh?" was all she asked softly. 

   He kissed her affectionately.  "I will," he reassured her before he bent to kiss Mark.

   "Kiss Ben for me?" he asked with a hopeful smile.

   Lara nodded and smiled her own reassurance as she touched him lightly, something between a caress and a gentle push that was meant to send him on his way. He grinned, and caught her hand to bring her fingers to his lips, his eyes sparkling in a way that made Lara grin uncontrollably in return.

   Then Luke stepped away to follow Atamvr, who had already headed for the front door.

~

   Their accounting to the Inner Council had come under heavy scrutiny, but Luke had expected that. He and Atamvr had given several hours of testimony regarding Orem, and Atamvr had taken the brunt of their questioning. He fell back on his knowledge of the complex political and social situations there and tirelessly insisted to the Senate Inner Council that the course of action which had been taken was the only way to reach a lasting peace, that the peace effort needed to be self-sufficient and self-contained.

   The real fireworks had started with Luke's unexpected revelation that his second student had turned to the dark side. There had been no attacking or accusing, but the carefully unspoken sentiment was tangible: that this conclusion was unavoidable in attempting to reestablish the Jedi Knights.  Mon Mothma and some others expressed their faith in Luke, in the value of his work and in his authority to continue it despite this turn of events. Others were far less trusting or forgiving; Luke could feel them watching them him, and especially Atamvr, closely... as if they were trying to determine how long it might be before they would be having this discussion again.

   "Master Skywalker."

   Luke repressed an urge to flinch at the title that he had never been entirely comfortable with.  He knew that Fey'lya did not intend it as a respectful utterance, just as Fey'lya knew that the Jedi had often declined the use of that designation in the past.

   "Am I to understand that you took this man as an apprentice and trained him to use his abilities in the Force while you, yourself, harbored concerns about his past?"

   "Given the choice between rendering guidance or abandoning him to discover what ever power he possessed on his own, I chose to teach him.  I stand by my decision and I am willing to take responsibility for the ramifications of my actions."

   Fey'lya's fur flattened. "I am afraid the ramifications of your actions may spread far beyond even your reach."  His gaze rested on Atamvr for several heartbeats. "As may future failures in judgement if this course of events is permitted to continue."

   Luke could feel the volatility in Leia's emotions. She wasn't about to let Fey'lya get away with that.  Luke's gaze met hers.  Not now, he communicated to her. Let me handle him.

   Mon Mothma's calm voice intervened.  "This is not a time to assign blame, merely an opportunity for questions. Jedi Skywalker, your assessment of the risks this individual may pose to the New Republic."

   "Very little at this point.  He is potentially dangerous," Luke readily admitted, "but I believe he will try to assert his power by seeking my destruction."  That brought murmurs of worried surprise from many of the senators and their aids, and prompted a smile from Luke. "I do not intend to allow him to succeed in this matter."

   Atamvr grinned, as did many of the senators. The tension in the room had lessened noticeably.

   "I will see to Darlik," Luke assured them, "and I will personally limit any threat he poses to the New Republic and its citizens."

   "And we are supposed to take your word on that," Fey'lya challenged, "after you have allowed him sanctuary here on Coruscant, and then escape on Orem."

   Luke's eyebrows raised warily. "I have already given you my explanation for his presence here.  What would you have had me done differently on Orem, Senator?  Begin a manhunt which would have resulted in countless deaths?"

   "Only one death would have been necessary. And well within your considerable power, I might add."

   "Then, in your opinion, I should simply have bullied the locals into allowing my pursuit of vigilante justice? Killed the man in cold blood in front of witnesses, and done so with impunity, simply because such a thing is within my power?

   "I'm sorry, Senator. I chose to place the good of the citizens of Orem and their planet's future stability above my personal interests, and, at times, above my personal well-being.  And I would do so again."

   Fey'lya fell silent, but the rippling of his fur indicated that he remained unswayed from his initial argument.  Luke took the rare occasion of his silence as an opportunity to turn his attention toward the other Council members.

   "This body must decide where its loyalties lie.  I have worked and fought alongside most of you, and I have seen you struggle for this New Republic.  Like you, I am willing to sacrifice everything that I have for its survival.  That is why I cannot let the legacy of the Jedi religion die with me. I believe very strongly that we cannot recreate the peace and stability of the old times without also reestablishing the guardianship of peace and justice that the Jedi Knights once provided."

   "You have given us much to consider, Jedi Skywalker," Mon Mothma stated. "The New Republic thanks you and your apprentice for your service."

   Luke and Atamvr each bowed.

   "And now the Inner Council will take a short recess."

   Luke remained where he was until Mon Mothma made a slight gesture in his direction.  Atamvr glanced toward Luke.

   "You can go ahead. I suspect some members of the Inner Council may wish to speak to me in private."

   Atamvr nodded. "I'll wait for you outside."

~

   Atamvr exited from the Inner Council Chamber and reflexively took a deep breath.

   "I guess that answers my question." 

   He turned to see Lara stand from one of the seats by the doors. 

   "Pretty rough in there?" she prompted.

   He nodded. "Amazing, really, how much displeasure some beings can express in so few words."

   "And the ones that don't really sound that bad," she agreed, grimacing.  "Believe me, I know." Lara gestured for him to join her, and they sat down to wait for Luke. 

   "Is it breaking up now?" she asked, looking toward the doors.  Some senators and aids had emerged, but for the most part the corridor remained quiet.

   "They've called a brief recess," he answered, "but Mon Mothma and a few of the others seemed to want a private word." 

   Lara nodded, and she leaned back in her seat. 

   "You look tired," Atamvr finally offered softly. He hadn't noticed it earlier.

   Lara waved his worry away. "I'm already much better, now that the two of you are back safe."

   Atamvr grinned mischievously.  "You know, he didn't sleep without you either."

   Lara's smile widened, and she looked away.

   Atamvr shrugged, resisting the urge to tease her any further on the subject. He had the feeling that if he did, he would do so at his own risk... and that urge slipped away as his thoughts shifted back to Orem.

   "I've never admired anyone more than I did him on Orem," Atamvr confided softly. "He never gave up, not on Darlik, not on getting me to my family, not on finding our purpose there.

   "He kept trying to get through to Darlik, and he did everything in his power to make sure that Darlik wasn't put in a position where he wanted to use the dark side, where he felt pushed into it by everything that going on around us. Luke put himself in danger for that. He put his life on the line for Darlik, and he never once stopped trying..." Atamvr trailed off, his respect for those actions clear in their remembrance.  "I had to stand in his way, long after it was over."

   He shook his head and glanced cautiously to Lara.  He didn't want to finish that thought, and the look in her eyes told him that he didn't need to. She knew how much of himself Luke had given, how much more he would have been willing to give.

   "But they just see a failure," Atamvr said, motioning toward the doors which remained quiet, concealing the ongoing turmoil behind that peaceful facade.  "They think he should have cut Darlik loose from the beginning."

   Frustration inched into Atamvr's normally reserved voice.  Lara could feel him working to restrain his own emotions, while at the same time he gauged her reactions, searching her face and her sense curiously, hopefully.  Lara restrained a smile where one wouldn't have been appropriate, but it was difficult to do so.  Suddenly he sounded very much like Luke, struggling to hold on to idealism in the face of hard reality... and hoping for understanding where he knew most people would see only naive foolishness.

   "I wonder if they really understand what he's trying to do at all," Atamvr intoned disappointedly.

   "Some of them do," Lara answered softly. "Leia and Mon Mothma, a few of the others. For the most part, even those who don't really understand it respect Luke enough to give him the benefit of more time.  They've seen him beat impossible odds before, and are reluctant to count him out now. This loss will make it much harder for them to keep faith in Luke's efforts," she conceded, "but you shouldn't judge them too harshly for that. As Leia recently reminded me, some of them remember the Empire and Darth Vader too clearly to be willing to risk that again.  And it's hard to blame them for feeling that way," she conceded grimly.

   "But back beyond the dark times, for a thousand generations, there were Jedi Knights.  The Jedi Knights were great once," she continued, her voice filling with certainty and admiration.  "Their presence was so completely ingrained in the best of what the Old Republic stood for that even the Empire could not erase their existence from history, no matter how hard it tried."  She paused heavily. "That's what this is really all about, and Luke knows that," she breathed.  "The New Republic and its leaders are fighting to reclaim the greatness of the old times.  Deep down, even the most critical and doubting beings among them want to believe that that greatness is something we can achieve again.  The Jedi Knights belonged to those old times," she added, speaking with a familiar idealism in her voice. "They can belong again, to these times, but it will be difficult," she finished softly.

   "If anyone can do it, it's Luke," Atamvr stated with a confidence that was born out of deep respect.

   Lara nodded. "There's something in him that's at its best when everything is depending on that." 

   "He takes it all on himself," Atamvr stated quietly.  "It was that way with the bad too."

   Lara's lip twisted in understanding. She could see something more in Atamvr.  These experiences had bonded him and Luke, and their trials had strengthened them each in a unique and lasting way; she could see that Atamvr was stronger for it, and she knew what he had done for Luke.

   "I know that you helped him," she said softly. "I thank you for that," she added more softly.

   Atamvr looked away uncomfortably.  "I just tried to convince him of the truth, that he did everything he could, and more, for Darlik.  It wasn't his fault that Darlik turned away from the light, couldn't accept it, or was never open to it in the first place.... It was still really hard for him to let that go," Atamvr admitted.

   Lara's eyes held on him. "You've seen something in him that Luke doesn't show most people." Her eyes were soft and her voice was softer, secretive but not guarded.  "It takes a lot from him," she spoke almost reluctantly, "the need for this constant and all-encompassing vigil against the dark side." She paused for a long moment, her eyes carefully measuring him.  "He's told you about Bespin."

   Atamvr nodded.

   "There are moments in life," she stated, her eyes quiet and serious, "where something unexpected acts on you so suddenly that it changes you.  And you're changed in ways that you could spend the rest of you life trying to understand. Bespin was that for him." 

   Atamvr nodded carefully, and her eyes rested on him, unwavering, as he listened.

   "At that point in his life, at about your age, Luke thought he knew himself: who he was, who he wanted to be, and all the things that were impossible, all the lines that he could never cross.  But all the things that were fact before... after Bespin," she shook her head. "There was doubt in everything.  Because in that one moment everything changed. The dark side had become so powerfully close, and cruel, and real. The one person he thought he hated, and the one person he most wanted to know, to love, had become one in the same."

   She let the silence hold for a few moments.  "It would have been much easier for him to fight Darth Vader for all the danger he posed, to hate him for the harm he had already inflicted, and deny the good that was buried so deeply beneath the cruelties of the dark side's influence and the power of the Emperor's hold.  But Luke," she shook her head in a measure of amazement, "could not even imagine that.  He had felt that goodness. And even though facing its existence would shake everything in himself, he had to believe that he could save his father, could somehow turn him back to the good side.

   "That glimmer of hope for the shred of goodness in this otherwise unforgivably evil machine of a man...." She trailed off, snorting lightly at something so seemingly small and illusive.  Then her thoughts shifted, and Atamvr sensed a slight feeling of hollow, cold... like the remembrance of something lost. "It could haunt a person for a lifetime," she said softly, the words almost inaudible.

   Her gaze lifted to Atamvr's, the sadness in her eyes making him wonder all the more at the shadows that he had felt in her a moment earlier.

   "It's still with him in a lot of ways," she continued quietly. "In all the things he never got to ask, and in all the ways the goodness in him could not understand that fall."  Her eyes flickered over Atamvr's as another edge of sad reality touched her emotions.  "And since then this possibility has haunted him," she stated, her eyes filled with familiar strength and compassion, "as he wondered how it could have happened once before, and he struggled, despite the haunting weight of that failure, to carry out all that his responsibility to the light would demand of him." 

   Lara shook her head. "If, somehow, this extraordinary student and friend that Ben Kenobi had embraced could be seduced away from him....  If Luke and Leia's father, who was once a good man, could turn from himself to embrace the dark side and do the will of the Emperor...." She sighed, shrugging at the difficult reality and wincing at its hurtful implications. 

   Atamvr nodded in empathy.  "What can be certain in the face of that fall?"

~

   In the relative privacy of the Inner Council meeting hall even Mom Mothma lowered her public show of support to speak with Luke Skywalker privately, candidly.

   Luke winced inwardly at the worry that he could sense underlying her quiet tone.  

   "Don't misunderstand my concern, Luke. I believe as you do that the New Republic needs the Jedi Knights, and I will continue to support your efforts in every way that I can.  But Luke," she warned regretfully, "as great as that need is.... We cannot afford a fall to the dark side." She paused, and an uncharacteristic discomfort crossed her emotions, turning her voice a degree colder as she finished. "Not with the atrocities of Vader so fresh in the consciousness of so many." 

   Luke could only nod speechlessly; a knot had suddenly formed in his throat.

   It must have shown in his face.  "I'm sorry, Luke," she apologized belatedly, and her strong voice softened.  "I wasn't thinking of that." 

   Mon Mothma was one of the handful of leaders in the New Republic who knew the truth of Luke and Leia's parentage.  She and the others took great pains not to speak of it directly.  If that knowledge were to be made public it could prove damaging to Luke and Leia's credibility as Rebellion heros and as New Republic leaders, and at a time when the New Republic desperately needed their leadership.

   "No," Luke quickly brushed it aside. "You're right. The universe can't afford another Darth Vader."

~

   That very sentiment was still ringing in his ears as Luke left the room, making his way back through the Inner Council Chamber. And Leia stepped into stride beside him. He could feel the turmoil in his sister's fiery emotions, along with a great deal of fresh determination.

   "I've decided something, Luke."

   "Leia," he stopped her and turned to face his sister.  "I appreciate your support. You have always believed, and I thank you for that.  But this is something you have to choose for yourself... not for me, not for the Senate, and not for the New Republic.  Your sense of loyalty and duty is admirable, but this training requires much more of you if you are to complete it.  Being a Jedi is a calling that encompasses all corners of your life.  I learn that fact more every day," he admitted softly.

   "I'm ready to make the commitment, Luke. I've always intended to be ready, able to help Jacen and Jaina when their time comes."  She shrugged and came to a pause. "But that's not enough anymore.  I want to do this for me.  I want to return to the training," she stated calmly. "I need to finish it," she added certainly.

   "I can't explain the pull I feel..." Leia admitted, "but I know that the time is now.  All the pieces are coming together: the Senate needs my leadership on this, the New Republic desperately needs the example of committed Jedi Knights, Jacen and Jaina will be ready soon. It's time, Luke. I know that it's time for me to do this.  I'm ready," she insisted, looking up at him determinedly.

   Luke nodded. Leia knew that he was taking measure of her in ways she couldn't yet understand. Then he nodded again, readily accepting her commitment.

   He could feel something more underlying his sister's new sense of commitment.  He felt the Force at work in her. And not for the first time he wondered if perhaps she was far stronger than either of them suspected....  He had always known that once Leia set her mind to something she was a force to be reckoned with.

   Luke put his arm around his sister's shoulder, grateful to accept the support she offered, grateful for her unshaken confidence in him.  And he was very proud of her – not just for what he sensed in her today, but for what he sensed she had the potential to become....

   "I am proud of you," he whispered.

   Leia laughed.  "I haven't done anything yet."

   "No. You have," he breathed.  "You've taken an important step.  You will be a strong Jedi, Leia."

~

   Only a few days later, under cover of night, Luke met the deceptively small hooded figures and escorted them into the Palace. They traveled slowly to let the group become familiarized with their surroundings as they made their way toward his family's suite, Luke and Khabarakh leading the party.

   Khabarakh had become highly revered among the Nogrhi in the years since the young warrior had recognized the Mal'ary'ush, Lady Vader, saved her from the clutches of Grand Admiral Thrawn, and gone on to assume protectorship of her family. His deeds and the part that he had played in freeing the Nogrhi from their servitude to the Empire had taken on an almost legendary status.

   The Kihm'bar clan personally trained all warriors who wished to offer their service to the Mal'ary'ush and her family, but Khabarakh insisted on hand-picking all teams accepted for that duty. It was an honor to be chosen by Khabarakh, and he had assured Luke that this team was the best he had ever assembled. Luke had no doubt of their skill, but he did feel the need to warn them about what they might find themselves facing. 

   "Khabarakh has told me of your skill and dedication. I am confident in your abilities.  But I wish for you to be aware of the unique dangers you may have to face in your service here. In facing a Force-strong warrior there is no room for error; if he is able to gain the advantage of surprise, or even to strike the first blow, the best of hunter's instincts may be rendered useless," Luke admonished them, and he fell silent. 

   He could sense their caution and resolve as they accepted his warning, accepted the inherent danger in this assignment. He could almost see them remembering pasts of vaunted service and dangerous failings to Vader, his Emperor, and even to Grand Admiral Thrawn after. A circle of service and debt, and honor. Now that honor was extended to Luke, his birth right, along with Leia's. But this service was also a new beginning, a chosen life debt offered out of appreciation for Leia's gift to them: new homeland and new life granted to the Nogrhi race. All of that stood before Luke as he awaited their response. 

   "It is our honor to serve you, son of Vader," their gravelly voices responded one by one.  Only one thing remained: the honor of protecting him and his family. 

   All Luke could give them in return was his gratitude, and an enormous measure of respect.  With that, he turned aside and showed them the small access panel which was programmed to accept keycodes along with the hand prints of a small number of trusted individuals. When the door opened, the team of five Nogrhi fanned out into the suite, stealthy taking measure of the area they would be expected to secure.

   Luke and Khabarakh remained standing by the door. 

   "I know you are still troubled by this necessity, son of Vader."

   Luke gave Khabarakh a hesitant glance, his attention remaining on the party of warriors that was sweeping his family's home.

   "I mean you no dishonor," Luke said softly, his hand resting at his chin.  "I'm simply worried."

   "I assure you, my warriors will become invisible until such a moment arrives when they are needed. And at such a time they will protect yourself and your family with their lives."

   Luke could detect the pride in Khabarakh's voice as easily as he could feel it in his sense.

   "I know that they will, Khabarakh," Luke whispered.

   The young warrior wondered for a moment why his lord still appeared troubled by that assurance.  Then his attention shifted, and Khabarakh dropped into the same gesture of supplication he had assumed when greeting Luke.

   "Chosen one of the son of Vader. We honor you."

   Lara extended the back of her hand to Khabarakh in greeting. "You may rise Khabarakh, clan Kihm'bar.  It is your service that honors us," she said softly. 

   Lara had seen Khabarakh and several members of Leia's Nogrhi guard on rare occasions, and she had known of their devotion to Darth Vader well before that – when the Nogrhi had done the Dark Lord's bidding as a league of deadly assassins.  Lara also knew that her service to Darth Vader was far from unknown to the Nogrhi race. Each recognized the other as a highly skilled warrior, dangerous in combat.  But Khabarakh chose to honor Luke by addressing her only as Luke's consort... and he had learned from earlier dealings with the clan Solo that "consort" was not considered an acceptable designation to many humans when addressing their mates.   

   Khabarakh rose and joined his warriors, speaking softly in their native language.  Luke placed his arm around Lara's shoulder's, and she leaned against his side in response. He could feel the tension in her.

   "Your firstsons dwell here?" Khabarakh questioned, motioning to the nursery. It was the only area of the suite they had not yet surveyed.

   Luke nodded, and gently tightened his hold against Lara's shoulders when he felt her tension shift into restlessness.

   "It's all right," he whispered at her ear. "Let them do what they are here to do."

   She relaxed slightly, but Luke could feel that she did not like allowing their children to be alone with strangers, even strangers who were there to protect them.

   The Nogrhi emerged a few moments later.  "They will be safe," Khabarakh stated.

   Luke lowered his head in a show of respect.

   "You have our gratitude," Lara whispered.

~

   Early the following morning Luke stopped by Leia's suite to collect her; he wasn't expecting her mind to have changed, but he was pleasantly surprised to find her dressed for a work out, her lightsaber in her hand.  The state of chaos surrounding her came as little surprise.

   "Uncle Luke!" his niece and nephew called in unison.

   "Hi, you two." Luke crouched down to their eye level and tried to avoid being bowled over when Jacen and Jaina hugged him.  "I think you've gotten taller since I saw you the other day," he decided playfully.

   "No we haven't," they laughed.

   Luke shook his head, unconvinced.  "At this rate I'll be training you soon."

   "Really?"

   Luke grinned and glanced up at their mother, who was standing behind them.

   "Go get your school things.  Go on," Leia prompted, sending them back toward their room with a shove.

   Luke got to his feet.  "I think you've got the worse end of this deal, Han," Luke decided, grinning.

   "So do I," Leia agreed.  "He's going to have to handle the morning shift singlehandedly for a while."

   "Nice," Han answered dryly.  He was trying to get Bail fed, but Bail was getting both of them covered in food in the process.  "I think I can handle breakfast and getting the twins off to school."

   Leia kissed a corner of his cheek that was still clear.  "I know you can."

   "Personally, I think it's about time you two got serious about this," Han argued. 

   "And I thought you didn't believe in all this nonsense," Luke kidded his brother-in-law.

   Han gave them a lopsided grin. "Who says I believe?" he challenged. "What I believe in is using all my resources, and if you can teach Leia to do the stuff you do she'll be safer – and I'm all for that."

   "Right," Luke agreed, sharing a suspicious smile with Leia.  Han would never admit it, but after all they had been through he would be a fool not to believe that the Force was about more than a collection of simple tricks and ancient weapons... and he would never have been so anxious to have Leia to continue her training if he didn't believe.

   "Just try to keep things under control for a few hours," Leia teased her husband.  "Then Winter will be here to watch Bail."

   "Hey," Han shrugged, "no problem.  It's me."

   Leia grinned.  "That's exactly what worries me," she decided as she gave her husband one more kiss and said goodbye to the twins before she followed Luke.  He didn't miss her slight hesitation when the door slid closed behind her. Leia had so little time to spend with Han and the kids... as crazy and chaotic as these mornings were, she was going to miss them.

   "Don't worry," Luke smiled, gently steering her away with a hand on her shoulder.  "I promise you an equally challenging morning."

   Leia sighed, putting her personal regrets aside as she remembered why it was so important that she do this.  "Luke, you didn't really give a lot of details at the Inner Council meeting.  What are you going to do about Darlik?"

   "There weren't any details to give.  For now I'm going to wait," Luke offered patiently. "I searched him out once before, and I didn't find him then until he wanted me to find him.  I believe the same will be true now.  He'll come for me.  As long as I'm alive, I'm a stumbling block to his ambitions."

   "His ambitions?" Leia questioned.

   "Have you ever thought about why Vader and the Emperor wiped out the Jedi? And not just physically – I mean why they methodically purged every record of the Jedi, tried to make it as through the Jedi never existed."

   Leia shrugged. "I always thought it was a necessity, like dissolving the Senate.  Eliminate what stands in your way, and do it so forcefully that no one dares to oppose you in the future."

   "That's true, but there's more to it than that.  The Emperor wasn't just a brutal dictator, he was also a Sith Lord. Eliminating the Jedi was a necessary step; eliminating the Senate was a necessary step.  Once those two controls were removed, legions of stormtroopers, fleets of star destroyers, and superweapons like the Death Star could ensure his rule over the galaxy. But as a Sith Lord, he knew that all it took to defeat him was one being who felt the Force. Just one being who was able to use the Force against him, and who would refuse to be turned from the light to do his will." 

   "As Vader had been," Leia whispered. Then she turned to Luke. "It was you that he feared.  The Emperor wanted you because he knew you could defeat him."

   Luke nodded. "Darlik is a little different. If he is to ascend to a place of power in the galaxy he must defeat me. Only by destroying me can he prove how powerful he is."

   "So you'll wait for him to make his move," Leia assessed.  "And in the meantime?"

   "In the meantime, getting you and Atamvr ready is my top priority."

   "Ready?" she asked reflexively.

   Luke sighed, coming to a stop. "There are difficult times ahead, Leia.  I have felt it. In my meditations I have seen futures, murky with plots against the New Republic, that would bring danger to us all. And I have seen that the dark side of the Force, even when it lurks in the shadows, still has the ability to destroy everything." Leia watched him worriedly, causing Luke to spare his sister a reassuring smile. "But the future is always in motion. What is certain is that we must prepare ourselves as best we can, using all of our strengths and talents."

   He hesitated.  "This training will be a challenge to you, Leia.  What I have shown you before has served you well until now, but those skills and abilities are only a fraction of what you are capable of.  What we are about to begin will be something altogether different."

   Leia nodded, feeling a little intimidated by what he was telling her... but Leia Organa Solo had never been one to give in to intimidation.

~

   "Just relax your mind," Luke instructed. "Reach out with your feelings and let go your conscious self."

   Leia was seated on the rec room floor facing her brother, listening to his voice.  He had been trying to teach her to use the Force for meditation for the better part of the past hour; it wasn't what she had expected to be doing with her time this morning, and she was having a hard time keeping patience with her own lack of success.

   "I know you can do this, Leia," Luke assured her.  "I've seen you use those instincts every time you take measure of a political situation, every time you put your own emotion aside and find that calm center inside yourself that lets you focus on the challenge at hand.  Let go your willful emotions and trust in the Force."

   Leia shook her head cautiously, opening her eyes.  "I don't like the idea of letting go of myself, Luke." 

   Leia had always relied on that willful, stubborn, headstrong side of herself – her father had called it the cold fire, and proudly pronounced it her greatest strength.  It was an essential part of who she was, and Leia didn't like the idea of allowing anything